We’re number 1! Ouch.

Well, good. Now we can all die happy. Go ahead and hit us meteor, we don’t care. The Saints won the mutha effin Super Bowl!

I would like to take a minute right now to thank all the hard working bartenders of this city (full disclosure: I am one). You took one for the team (as it were) last night. And maybe you feel like you’re going to drop dead right now, but you’ll live. Remember your mantra, from that scene in Trainspotting when whatshisname is interviewing for a hospitality job, “I take pleasure in other people’s leisure.”–which rhymes if you’re English, or Scottish, actually. Speaking of Trainspotting, remember how awesome that movie and soundtrack were? It was so influential you dated not one, but two (!) English guys in college. Wait, was that really 14 years ago!? Do raves even exist anymore?

Wow. That was quite a tangent. Are you still drunk?

So, it’s Monday and everything is closed, and everything that would usually be open is barely open because it’s New Orleans, and when there’s a big party everyone calls in sick, and nothing functions properly. Maybe Mitch Landrieu will fix that?

In the meantime, get thee to a Popeye’s drive-thru and get some fried chicken and red beans and rice. I stand behind Popeye’s red beans and rice 100%. It’s delish.

Then go home and put the last two seasons of Lost in your on-demand Netflix queue so you can understand what the hell everyone’s talking about with the smoke monster or whatever.

Done and done.

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